Kadiera's Playground Cute but Evil - it averages out

Apparently there's a study published this week that shows that women diagnosed with migraines have a 30% lower risk of breast cancer than those without.

The theory is that both have hormonal components, and migraines tend to follow points where the woman's estrogen is lowest, so combined with the fact that many breast cancers are worse with higher estrogen may suggest that these women naturally have a lower baseline for estrogen levels.

Well, I know for sure now why I've been extra moody and sniffly this week - my period started this morning.

and all I can say is, WTF?

This may be the first time in 20 years that this has worked as scheduled without drugs. They told me on discharge to expect a period in 4-10 weeks, that breastfeeding (or pumping) can make it more towards the later end of that, and if I didn't have a period by then to talk to my OB. Yesterday was 4 weeks since Alexander's birth.

I dunno. There are other things that seem to have been reset by this experience, like my blood sugar. So I guess we'll see how many of them stick.

It's becoming obvious that the Zoloft is finally kicking in. I have a hard time sitting still if I'm not actively doing something (typing, knitting, etc). Zoloft seems to be a bit more subtle, mentally speaking, than Lexapro was - it sneaks up on you, like sunrise, rather than being like turning on a flood light in your brain.

One of the benefits of it finally kicking in is that there's room in my head to sort out what's actually going on in there these days. A couple weeks ago, it was hormones and stress and just plain not knowing what was happening, with me and with Alex. Now though...it's mostly grief for the things that didn't go the way I had hoped and planned.

for the most part, I love my health insurance company. My hospital bill was over $34K, and my portion of the bill is $95.

However, the breast pump thing is about to be messy, and while it's not their fault, it is the fault of the people they sent me to...and I'm going to make their lives miserable if they don't fix it and get me the pump I need.

FYI, Baby stuff will continue to be updated at sprog.quicksilverdragon.com. You should go read there if you haven't for an important baby name change announcement.

Yesterday I went for my follow-up with my OB. He was helpful in insisting that I get a couple of things looked at that might have contributed to this whole pre-term delivery, but not so helpful in dealing with the issue of my blood pressure.

I find myself thinking, every time they put the BP cuff on "Come on big money....no whammies......no whammies.....stop!"

I am amused that getting rid of my IV drip bag has meant that I am retaining less water. Since last night, my knuckles have regained some definition, standing doesn't feel like my knees are connected to my shins by water balloons, and my calves actually have a shape other than "over-stuffed sausage." I wonder what result that will have on today's 24-hour urine sample.

I've found old songs wandering into my head as meditation aids lately. It's odd to have songs you don't actually remember learning spring full formed into your head, only to google them later and find that yes, they do exist.

go read over here

Needless to say, I've been off line the last few days, and I don't know whether I'll be online that much in the next few weeks or not - if there's something important, call me.

blood pressure is up again; I've got a call into the on-call doc and I assume they'll likely send me back to the hospital for a once-over.

what a pain in the ass.

If I get put back on bedrest, I'm going to have to impose on people, or go looking for a part time housekeeper, or some combination of the two. We're still trying to finish off the shut down of the business, and the house is already a mess; one less person to try to keep up with it will make for a bad situation.

Somehow this morning's discussion was both reassuring and not at the same time. *sigh*

In general, high blood pressure in pregnancy is considered a risk factor for pre-eclampsia. When questioned on this, he said that there were a couple schools of thought on this.

...it is too much to ask that after everything it took to get pregnant, things would go reasonably smoothly.

The new drugs do not appear to be working. The Dr will not give me more, because then it might go too low, and he might want me to see a specialist, maybe...but in the meanwhile, I'm to continue sitting here on my ass (which also isn't improving my blood pressure, mind you) and come back tomorrow so they can check again.

Because, you know, he doesn't want to screw around too long on this, and would really rather I be up and about and getting exercise and going back to work....which is why we're waiting yet another day to make a fucking decision.

I'm just so very tired of bullshit.