Kadiera's Playground Cute but Evil - it averages out

Work has gotten wierd. My boss's boss got laid off, and he was one of my favorites.

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I'm reading up on Buddhism. "Buddhism Plain & Simple" and "The Idiots Guide to Zen Living" are in my reading rotation right now. Very interesting, and rather oddly in line with places my brain has already gone.

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I also was accepted into the FWTI clergy training program. Family Wiccan Tradition espouses the idea that your family should be your spiritual home, which also resonates strongly with me these days. And they're one of the most sane, down-to-earth groups of Pagans I've ran into recently.

Among my first assignments - what are my flaws and what am I doing to work on them, creating a personal statement of honor, a review of my ritual skills, and some other stuff. One of my goals is to end up with a more balanced perspective than the Dianic one I've worked from over the years, because I think it's important for Alex's sake, and for my ability to write to a wider audience.

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It's not like I'm not already doing a lot of inner work. Emotions come and go like the weather these days, as I work on untangling the knots of the past and the chaos of the present - the places where those intersect is just plain messy, and that contributes a lot to my issues with depression.

But, as always, untangle, untie, drag the monster hiding behind the mess into the daylight, kicking and screaming, and let it fry like the vampire it is. Lather, rinse, repeat.

In the past, I've stopped when the mess was starting to *look* organized on the surface, but the lack of clean clear lines underneath there still allows it to re-tangle later. Maybe this time I will be able to keep digging and make it harder for things to get so darn messy later.