stress
You know what?
It's been a stressful year.
There are some things in life that are not worth stressing over. The dishes come to mind immediately - I'm pretty good about not stressing about getting the dishes done.
There are other things that I'm not so good about not stressing about, and I'm going to need to work on that.
This week's thing to not stress about: breastmilk.
Alex is not going to starve - there's formula when there's not enough milk. It is not the end of the world if him getting more formula means I get more sleep and am less preoccupied with trying to fit in more and more pumping to try to keep up.
I'm not ready to give up on breastfeeding yet - we haven't even tried it - but I need to let go of the demands on myself to make it work. As long as I keep at least some supply going, there will be plenty of opportunities for Alex to practice, and plenty of time to decide later when it's time to quit.
To that end, a new schedule is in place, and I'm shooting for 6 good sessions a day, rather than trying (and failing) to get 8 shoehorned in, and then beating myself up over it.
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but as you can see, he was enjoying it immensely
peeking thru the crib
strawberries, zuchini, and tomatoes
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YES
Because exhaustion negatively affects milk production too. And even if your supply decreases now, as soon as he starts nursing regularly, production will go right up.
It's an important thing, but it's not the *only* important thing, and everyone's overall health and happiness is really, really important. ::big hugs::