Kadiera's Playground Cute but Evil - it averages out

This post is rather self-centered; if that's a problem skip on to something else :-)

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I am feeling somewhat better. Not perfect, and there really aren't *good* days yet, but there are a hell of a lot fewer bad days.

Therapy is...odd. I think she's still trying to grasp the insanity that is my life, and all the things that play into why I am the way I am, and how screwed up things could be in my head, and the fact that they're not nearly that bad. Things we've agreed on so far include that my dad is who he is, and while he's hurtful, it's not really on purpose, because he's more broken than I am. And that friends are important.

Hrm. Not that I think we've made much progress really, but she doesn't suck, and so I might as well stick it out for a while and see if we can actually get somewhere that I hadn't already cleaned out my own cobwebs.

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I give up on the portable pumps. I just don't get as much milk from them, and since 3 of my 6-8 sessions a day are at work, that's a problem.

I think we finally have a set-up that works, once I buy one more set of breast shields.

The hospital grade pump I have now is lighter than my so-called portable. And I can buy one just like it used on ebay for about the cost of a new portable, and we even found one with a carrying case. I dunno if I'll use the case; I figure I need to see it first. But I have 2 nice bottle coolers and a wet bag for the accessories, so all I'd need is a tote bag that holds the pump and the cooler and the accessories, and I'd be set.

In fact, I think I'll do just that with the rental pump for the moment, until the one we bought gets here. In the meanwhile, I ought to clean things up and get them all ready to go.

Now to list the two portables and the extra crap on craigslist....

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Speaking of breast milk, one of the most recommended aids to producing more milk is dark beer (because of the hops; they're mentioned in all of my herbal books too).

I should borrow one of my beer drinking friends for a trip somewhere to sample some things so I can find something I can stand to drink.

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I've been putting together a baby shower gift for my cousin. She's considerably younger than me (19) and unmarried, and the father is the third or fourth guy she's dated since we met up with her and her boyfriend at the family get together in Florida last year.

This gift shopping is both painful and therapeutic, all at the same time, which kinda sucks.

She's getting practical stuff from me. But most of it will still be cute practical stuff - she's having a girl, so I get to pick girly things.

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Tomorrow (Tuesday) I have to submit my draft paper to SAE. Wish me luck.

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Today Alex got 2 dragons in his crib, along with a fancy mirror with toys. Hopefully this will help keep him a bit more occupied.

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I went to a cloth diaper/attachment parenting get-together the other night. The lady who runs it is nice, and has some experience with the NICU; the rest of the people were rather clique-ish and standoffish. I wonder if that had to do with me not having a kid along, or if they're just that way.

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Alex's corner of the nursery was empty yesterday; the remaining parents there were supposedly disturbed by the fact that he cries. Doesn't much matter; they had a set of twins check in just before shift change this evening, so Alex has some companions again.

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Anyways. I should put the last of the new diapers in the dryer (some portion of which are going to said cousin mentioned above) and then head to bed. Gotta work tomorrow, and sleep is becomming an issue. As in, I have a bit of difficulty going to bed before midnight, I don't wake up at all once I'm out (really unusual for me), and I have a hell of a time waking up in the mornings.