Kadiera's Playground Cute but Evil - it averages out

Contrary to popular belief, I am not required to grin and bear it through anything and everything where Alexander is concerned.

I'm allowed to have bad days now and then.

I'm allowed to be upset when Alexander has a bad day.

I'm allowed to be upset when some new realization strikes, like, "if Alex had been born now instead of 10 weeks ago, he'd be full term and likely would have come home with us"

I'm allowed to feel rather melancholy when surrounded by very pregnant women, because it makes me think, "that should be me right now"

I'm allowed to grieve as new things come up, like, "babies are supposed to start getting solid foods between 4 and 6 months. At the rate we're going, Alex will just be getting the hang of a bottle then, and if feels like we're missing out on the whole concept of breast feeding this way."

I'm allowed to laugh at things that are rather morbid, like the idea that Alex would fit comfortably in an infant sized bicycle helmet.

I'm allowed to be jealous that the baby in the next room gets ahead of Alexander on something, and I'm allowed to feel like gloating when Alex passes one of them on something, especially if Alex is younger than them.

These are all normal feelings. There is nothing wrong with me for feeling them; being upset does not mean I'm having a nervous breakdown, even if I handled some previous situation with more stoicism.

Now if only my mother the therapist could get this through her head....